Busted Bubble

I was reading the classifieds as if my dream job was going to just slap me in the face. I read over every seemingly exciting job placement; 'Promo models needed, marketing assisstant, security guard... and the list never ends. Every minute some new employer would post another office admin job. My eyes got so tired of looking at what my future would potentially become: A back-aching, eye-soaring 8 hour day in and day out state of oblivion, for the next 40 years. I am in the process of reading a book that is basically a collection of stories of people just like myself who were stuck in between where they were in life and where they wanted to be. The author was correct when he made the assumption that just about everyone was waiting for this grand ephiany to shine a light of the path of happiness and enlightenment. But the reality is we are in charge of discovering our own path. My path goes off track just about every 6 months, I will find a job within a decent (but not appealing to my personality at all!!!) company and I will settle because of course I need the money. No sooner do I figure out this is not where I want to be in life and I slowly disconnect from my present state of adult hood and responisibility than slowly I mentally vanish. I remember someone telling me once that we can only use excuses for so long in our life-time and actually get away with it until eventually it was time to settle. Well my 20 year old ass was at that time in life, my 'journey' was not percieved as a search for my greater calling in life, it was considered laziness and a lack of responsibility. For people who don't know me the way I know myself that would be a fair conclusion, but for those who understand the strive for greatness no matter how big or how small, I am daring and different. I like being different but so does every other friggin' person on the planet. Ironically our desires to be different and make change is what makes us the same, it makes us human and it is exactly the right ingredient for happiness. After all that is all we want, that is all we came here to do...

TBC


Heather Maciel
:S

Writers Block

The term writers block has always been foreign to me. Since before I knew I had a passion for writing I was writing without a cause, than I decided that I had a hidden talent in writing and all of a sudden the words would now flow. It sounds a little ironic since writers block has become the topic of my newest blog piece but It was the only way I knew how to trigure some artistic flow. I wanted to be able to write for a few minutes without pausing and writing about not being able to write lately was my ticket.

Everyone around me seems to be picking up the last puzzle pieces of life and neatly putting them into place. It has definately awaken the green monster of jealousy within myself. I am so busy trying to figure out which of these pieces belong to me and in which order to I place them in. Deep down inside I know there are no correct answers to my millions of questions revolving around my life. I do not want to become an individual who doesn't recognize her own refelction because I was too busy rushing through life instead of living it. I want to feel every moment and remember every step I took to get where I am in the present moment.

Wishful Thinking

The past week has turned my life into a construction zone. Monday morning started off like a regular routine of robotic like activities. I drove off to work as scheduled to arrive by 8:30 AM, with no warning throughout the day of the unexcepted outcome to my Monday. I could feel in my bones that something was not right but assumptions never end well. Performing to my usual standard I carried on as though it were any regular day. Little did I know 2:00 PM would roll around bringing with it an unusual surprise, not ending in my favor. A lovely women who covered for me in the past so I may take a few days for vacation, phoned the office to speak with me. She began to tell me how the company I am working for asked for her assistance in covering the reception (my posistion) for the next two weeks. I was in complete shock and terror, for one I was never notified of my possible termination and 2 if I was being terminated there was little time for me to find a new job fast enough to handle all my payments for the next little while. 4:00 PM and the HR manager used her hand signals to direct me into the meeting room across from my desk. I had two hours to prepare for what she was about to say. She proceeded to read a letter she had typed up just hours before our "meeting".  While she was reading my letter of termination I had one person in mind who had purposely sabotoged my short career. It sounds a little dramatic and like I am trying to find an excuse for why I was let go but the reality of it is sometimes you meet people with horrible intentions. My list of responsibilities and duties as a receptionist was not those of a rocket science, So I was not terminated based on my poor performance. Unfortunately for whatever reason I was not suited to work in that particular office enviroment. Anyone close to me knew that I was unhappy with my job, that's all it was for me. Another job. I believe in some way my subconcious thoughts always submitted my deepest desires, thats how the universe works. Ultimately you have to be careful what you wish for. I'm not upset for feeling the way I did about my job because the same way I let the negative feelings go I know I will welcome the positive desires in. Now I must work towards a better living for myself first and foremost. With patience, hard work and determination good things will inevitabley conquer.

H.R.M<3

The game of LIFE

There are many ways to cope with the un-fair cards dealt to us in the game of life. There are many people we can blame for the empty void left in our souls. I have spoken before of the importance of being fulfilled and completely satisfied in our own lives. A lot of this fulfillment comes from a place where we spend most of our days and even more of our life. AT WORK. Even the word work doesn't jump off the page and excite you right to your bones. It is already asccociated in your mind as something boring and something that has to be done. Maybe I did not get the same memo as everyone else, but I think it is WRONG that we should settle on our role of employment simply because that is what we are told to do. I've seen mobs of people walking in the downtown core of Toronto, mostly dressed in black, driving black cars or holding up black umbrella's, and a million thoughts run through my head. I feel like they were all given the same set of rules and standards in life to follow in order to reach success. In those short moments of passing through the stampead of follow the leader, I realize my very own disctintions that seperate me from the rest of the herd. Not only the physical attributes like my red hair that is sometimes long or short depending on my mood. Or my bright green car that you could spot from a mile away. My internal voice of wisdom and of reason shout beyond the largest of moutains and reach to the heavens. I am stuck in a box of routines and schedules and routes leading to the "right" roads. In my opinion it is up to you and up to me to get ourselves out of this small box and create opportunities that may or may not find you. Don't play hide and seek with your own life. Seize and strive for the things, even the smallest of things that will make you smile at the very least.

I am attaching a link to this opinionated piece that gives you '7 reasons to quit your current job':  Enjoy!
http://www.officejobs.com/page/Blog/2008/05/the-top-7-reasons-to-quit-your-soul-sucking-job/

Power of Words...

I am a firm believer in the saying "Life is what you make it." Within all of it's simplicity there is a deeper message. What do you do to get to where you want to everyday? I don't mean how you commute from point A to B, be it by car or bus. But what steps do you take everyday in order to mold the person you want to be?! It seems like we (and when I say we I just mean in our general society) are always complaining of the lack of time there is to get anything we want done. We seem to fall into the stream of workoholics and angry adults, it takes us under like a tsunami. Without warning we become robots and seemingly lifeless. There is no trace of how we converted from happy and goal oriented to sad and pressured to meet the high standards of living. But some how it happened. Everyday I am a product of this happy person full of life, turned reserved adult who sits quietly waiting to be awaken by the 5 PM hour. My JOB is unfulfilling and monsterously starving my soul of true content. But complaining about my unhappiness will not make it any better. Being angry at my bitchy co-workers is not an excuse to shut down. So going back to the profound saying that Life is what you make it, what do I do to better myself right now as oppose to trying to take control of fate and what lies ahead?


1. I start a blog to develop my writing habits
2. I take a writing course to sharpen my skills and talents
3. I get my passport so I can travel the world
4. I buy a car so I can get where I want when I want
5. I have to love myslef and those around me, as much as humanly possible


I don't know exactly what life has in store for me but every moment and every opportunity is life teaching me a lesson, giving me a test or helping to push me in the right direction. We'll see what happens next.


-H.R <3

Now & Then

From now and than a lot has changed. Then was happier, now seems strange.

Just like the songs go, you were the air in my lungs, the blood in my veins.

Today I'm lucky if I can remain sane, you've become a riddle thats always working my brain.

Day after day you put me to the test. Trying to figure out if I'm anything like the rest.

Keep my lenses in focus, I picture us together growing older.

I'm holding on to who you use to be, it weighs me down like a boulder.

Maybe if i stop the chasing you will come back and like a gentle butterfly land on my shoulder.

H.R <3

To My Mom

Ever since I can remember I have felt like I didn't "fit" well with the members of my family. I mean yes I did resemble them and shared their name, but there was something bigger that didn't feel right. I remember having these 'off ' days where I was just so confused about myself. You would think it was normal and I was  growing up and changing. But why was I was one of the kids who loved sleeping out more than staying home? It was weird that my friends' houses felt like an escape and there I felt adequate. Now this might sound like a lot of gibberish to most people, I don't blame you, it's still a mystery to me why I was looking for more or what it was I was even looking for. There was only one person that pulled me in and let be be vulnerable, and still loved me with no strings attached. My mommy. This might be a little personal for a blog, but It might make a great movie one day. I was the product of a single-parent family. And to society this was "abnormal", but to me it was the most amazing gift. I was the product of a woman who loved me with every fiber in her body right to her soul. The excuse to rebel because of lack of love was never an option in my life. Don't get me wrong I was not the poster child for perfection but I tried. I learned all I could from her, than as I grew older I tried to be a teacher for her. Someone who was capable to love that much deserved 100 times the love in return. I saw the obstacles she faced and the thorns of love that tried to hurt her. But she never gave in! I never knew a weak muscle in that womans body, mind or soul. Lucky for me she was always my rock, and I think I have been hers. I just wanted to say I love you mom, and I will write a great story and dedicate to you and the woman you are and the woman you shaped me to be. Love Heather

Beauty & Brains

In society today, more than ever, the differences between men and women have become colossal. The picture of men and woman have always been painted as the men being the stonger sex and woman being meek and fragile. When it comes to the physical aspect of day-to-day things like heavy lifting and moving I would agree almost 100%. But where the battle of the fitest really matters is when we are faced with moral decisions and actions, and woman prevail phenomenally. In this area the level of strength of men and woman are completely oposite. Woman can avoid temptation and always think with their heart and not always with their hormones. I was in a prediciment earlier today that proved just that. Two men thought it would be okay to comment on my appearance (in my presence) and laugh about it. Now whether it was intended to be a compliment or a not, these men are MARRIED and that doesn't fly with me. I have respect for the women who are home after work cooking for them or waiting to see them after a long hard day. I have a beautiful boyfriend and would expect the same respect from him that when he is out in the big and bad world of temptation, to keep in mind the love I hold for him in my heart and soul. A word of advice for these men who think they can be excused for their fowl behaviour, please stop trying to impress other women start impressing the woman in your life you love and who loves you*

Two simple rules to abide by; when in LOVE

Speaking on behalf of women, being in a relationship causes us to sustain many pressures. Or so we think. We relate our real life love story with those near perfect fairy tales fed to us by media and movies. We assume men have to be willing to sweep us off our feet whenever they get the chance. Men need to hold our hand everytime we walk side by side and they need to take us out to extravagant and lavish resteraunts and dates. The truth of the matter is that men , just like women, have feelings and wants and desires to love and be loved. Because I think it's impossible to stuff everyone's love life into a generic category, I like to use my personal experinces as a precedent:


1)When your boyfriend/husband doesn't want to talk, he is not being an a** he just doesn't want to talk.


2)When he needs to be alone or  with the guys he is not being an a** he just wants to be an individual.


I figured out one of the keys to a successful relationship is the more you push the more your partner pulls, so don't push so much. Much like a teenager who is being told what to do every minute of the day, they might just turn and rebel completely against you. The objective is not to work against but with one another. And ladies don't over-analyze everything, enjoy the little moments that he does takes your breath away.*




Love,
Heather

To Dream is to Believe...

I am certain that every person, everywhere has something they've always wanted to experience. A dream they have wanted to fulfill but never got around to doing it. A few months ago I was introduced to this "dream board", the idea is to create a board (in 3d or 2d) with pictures and words that showcase some of the things you want in your life. With enough good, postitive energy you can achieve whatever it is you want!

Love. An endangered species?

About five minutes ago I finished reading a magazine article entitled ' Is staying in love a choice?' I was preparing myself for a cynical piece of literature. Instead I was taken-back by this particular writer's refreshing take on the seemingly mythical feeling we call LOVE. The article touched on the simple fact that if it was so easy to fall in love, why shouldn't the same effortless rules apply to staying in love?
 Sure you get older, you get busier, you get married, you have children, but those things should be enjoyed and not always treated as over-time work. Maybe I am speaking with the words of a hopeless romantic, and maybe not everyone will agree with me: If you accept the challenges of a relationship and endure the responsibilities of a parent you will exceed in greatness and happiness. I believe all of the tools that one needs to succeed in life comes from within. I do not have enough years of knowledge so that what I say may be creditable but my struggles in my relationship have made me love my partner more and more everyday. To me that says a lot, and to him that says even more.

...

Two Woman Entourage

Sometimes the indecencies and injustices of todays world make it hard for anyone to believe there is an ounce of sincerity and goodness anywhere. I am not trying to sound pessismistic or at all trying to put down humanity. Everyone makes there own moral decisions and lives life according to what matters to them the most. Being a young woman makes the world an even more scary place to reside. I say scary and support it with my opening sentence, people don't believe or trust in other people. Which leads me to the reason behind my post, my best friend Nicole. Throughout my 20 years of life she has been a common factor and a consistant member of my social circle. The great event leading to our current status as BFF does not need to be mentioned, but let's say it tested us. The unfortunate mishap tested us as women, as friends and as human beings. We went through the pain together, and until today we remain in sync with eachother, as if we were twin sisters seperated at birth. Our friendship has sustained hardships and is successful because we remained truthful.  We are not judgemental and that allows us to see through our heart, when we are vulnerable we are sympathetic and we just simply understand one another. The most profound cliches are those that obtain the most abuse, so here is one: "Life is what you make it." Nicole and I have made life easy, simply for the fact we love and trust eachother. I can't say we chose to be friends, I will however give the credit to fate. Fate made a judicious selection when it paired Nicole and I together. One more cliche for the road: "Everything happens for a reason." (And don't you forget it.)

To: Nicole 

Love: Heather

Ordinary & Inspirational

A friend of mine drew this portrait of me. I was taken back when she showed it to me. I had interpreted the drawing as somebody who thought I was qualified to be converted into a beautiful piece of art. Thank you Kylie!

STARDOM-SYNDROME

Very seldom do we see the footprints made by the positive impacts that our youth inflict upon society. It seems today that the world has become too busy and too fascinated with the life style of the rich and famous, and too busy contemplating how to reach that status quo of fame and fortune. Almost everyone I meet and every child I see is a mirror image of the celebrities that have become un-official gurus to the way of life.  

In a world where money does indeed do all the talking, we have forgotten as human beings the greater importance of life and its simplistic routes to being fulfilled.

The media and the powerful influences behind the scenes have been successful in highlighting (in their opinion) what will result in one’s ultimate happiness. Whether it be cars or a clothing line we are manipulated into believing these objects ensure a better quality of life. Success, in any amount, is an equation of hard work driven by passion. It is probable we will not all be millionaire ball players or billionaire platinum recording artists. But we do have the ability and freedom of choice to feed the hunger that drives us and satisfy’s our needs beyond the financial front. Create your own standards and you will find the carpet is still red on the other side.

"I am not interested in money, I just want to be wonderful." Marilyn Monroe

Motivation is the ingredient in Change

It is a New Year and with a New Year comes the time for change, or that's what we like to think and say but never DO! I had taken the time to set up a blog so that I may freely express at any time what I was thinking and feeling. But I have not invested myself into this simple project consistantly. Much like a lot of people who are struggling with their "busy" lives, refraining from doing anything that YOU like to do, I have deprived myself of myself. As silly as that sounds it is such a mistake we all make every single day. And we wait 365 days for the hype of a New Year to some how miraculously motivate us to change in some way. I can't say we, because it is impossible to speak on behalf of everyone, so I will say that I make excuses for doing nothing when I can be doing something. I blame the cold, or the lack of money. I can point all my fingers at all the obstacles that I claim to be holding me back from enjoying everyday to it's full potential, but that doesn't really help me. If anything it leaves me stuck somewhere I might not want to be but somewhere I am comfortable being. I want to write everyday so I should, I want to be in love everyday with my guy so I will, I want to succeed and be compensated with happiness and make everyone around me happy so I think I should... So here is to your own life and the little things that make it extraordinary!